Thursday, 31 December 2015

Pentecost XIX (Proper 22 B) [On Marriage] (4-Oct-2015)

This sermon was preached at St Mark's Lutheran Church, Mt Barker, 8.30am, 10.30am.

Click here for PDF file of sermon for printing.

Grace, mercy and peace be to you from God our Father, and from our Lord Jesus Christ.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Prayer: Dear Lord Jesus, send to all of us your Holy Spirit, to me that I may preach well, and to all of us that we may hear well. Amen.


You may have realised by now that our readings for today are about marriage. Marriage is a very contentious topic today. In polite conversation, people like to avoid religion and politics. When you talk about marriage, you get to talk about both religion and politics, all at once! It’s a topic that is not considered polite – but Jesus didn’t say to Peter, “be polite”, he said, “feed my sheep”. This means that when there are contentious topics that come up in our weekly readings, it’s our duty as pastors to teach these things.

As I was preparing my sermon, I was reminded of a Lutheran pastor, who wrote a lot on marriage, called Walther Trobisch. Some of you might have read some of his books, maybe his most famous book called: “I married you.” Walther Trobisch was a missionary in Cameroon, in Africa. In one of his books, he tells about his speaking tours, where he spoke about marriage both in Africa, and also in Europe and America where the culture was very different. He found then when he was in Africa, the Africans said that he didn’t understand African culture and was trying to impose European thinking about marriage on them. But when he went to Europe, the Europeans said that he had spent too much time in Africa. What he realised was that God’s teaching on marriage in the bible completely cuts through all cultures, and challenges all cultures, and no one “culture” on earth has got everything right.

In our readings today, we have a number of things about marriage. We have Genesis 2, the second chapter in the bible, which speaks about the creation of Eve, and describes the event where Adam and Eve first met in the garden and were given to each other as a husband and wife. And also in our gospel reading today, we read about where some people go to Jesus and ask him about divorce, and he teaches them about marriage and also he blesses the children who come to him.

But I’d like to go back a step and take a look at a whole picture of marriage. In fact, let’s ask the question, “what is marriage?” Well, first of all, marriage is a public thing. It’s not a private agreement where one day, someone decided to move in with someone else and puts their stereo system on the shelf. No—marriage is a public thing. It begins with a wedding. In our country, marriages are contracted legally and registered with the government. In some other countries, especially where reading and writing and public records are not kept in the same way, local customs are sufficient. But a marriage begins with a wedding. It happens in public. Even a private wedding with only a few people in attendance is still a public thing.

But also, marriage is entered into for life. A man and a woman promise to live together “until death do us part”. I’ve recently been to a few weddings where people have said, “I will love you forever”. This is sentimental, but it’s not actually correct. If a person is married, and then their spouse dies, there’s nothing wrong with them then getting married to someone else, if they choose. So people enter into marriage for life.

But then also, marriage is the union of a man and a woman. It is not the union of a man and a man, and it is not the union of a woman and a woman. It can only be the union of a man and a woman – and this is the only acceptable opinion to hold as a Christian. Any other opinion is simply a rebellion against God’s law. But we might ask: If Australia allows homosexual marriage, can’t the government allow it even if churches have a different opinion? That might be the case – but we have to understand one thing. The reason why we in this country have it defined is law that marriage is between a man and woman, and have always understood it that way, is because Christians were instrumental in forming the laws. So people who are advocating for homosexual marriage are rebelling against something that Christians had put in our laws on the basis of God’s word. But even apart from that, many pagan societies, such as traditional Aboriginal society, also understood from nature that marriage was between a man and a woman.

I know that many of you have gay friends or family, and many of you may in fact disagree with me on this. I leave it to you to think about and for your conscience. Jesus died for all people, and he paid for all sin, and all sexual sin. However, God’s love means the forgiveness of sins, not the excusing of it. And the practice of homosexuality is spoken of in a number of places in the New Testament as sin. Romans 1 says that it is against nature, and also gives a word of warning to those who give approval to those who practice these things. This is not hate speech – but we Christians speak the truth in love. There is hope and there is forgiveness.

So we believe marriage is a public union, it’s a lasting union, and also it’s between a man and a woman. And this union means that a married couple live together in the closest fellowship, not just in their bodies but also in their whole lives.

So we read in our Old Testament reading: Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother, and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Jesus adds in our gospel reading today: So they are no longer two but one flesh. You can see when a couple gets married, they leave their parents (“therefore a man shall leave his father and mother”), and they are joined together (not just in a kind of agreement, but also in love and respect), and they become one flesh. Isn’t that an incredible mystery that Genesis speaks about there: they shall become one flesh. Of course, it refers to sex, but not just to that, but that the couple live in such a way, that they almost don’t know where their own life stops and the other person’s life begins. In Ephesians 5, St Paul says something really wonderful about this: he says: Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it. You can see from this passage, that love within a marriage has nothing to do with what a person gets out of it, which is just selfishness, but it has everything to do with the other person. Just as we look after our bodies and take care of them, so also married couples take care of each other.

Now, whose idea was marriage? Has it simply come about because of tradition, and customs? No… God is the one who came up with the idea. Someone once said to me that marriage was only invented in 700 AD – that’s a piece of rubbish propaganda. Because of anti-marriage agendas, all kinds of people say all kinds of clap-trap about this kind of thing. If you study history, you will never find a society without marriage, and those that don’t would be the rare, rare exception.

Marriage was God’s idea. He invented it in the garden of Eden as we read in today’s Gospel reading, where God created a woman and brought Eve and Adam together as a couple. And this is true for every marriage – it is God who joins a man and a woman together. We read in Genesis 2: So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.” Isn’t this a wonderful thing? Don’t you married couples understand what it is to have someone who is bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh! Wouldn’t you want to treat each other just as if you had come from the same body and simply prised apart to form two individuals? It really is a wonderful thing that we read there.

But we also read in Genesis 1 that God made man and woman in his image, male and female. And we also read that he blessed them. This is the biblical picture of marriage—it really is a wonderful part of God’s creation which he has designed in such a marvellous way.

Now, we also learn from Genesis 1 and 2, why God came up with the idea of marriage. We read in Genesis 2, where God says: It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him. This word here means someone who complements – men and women complement each other. Every married couple will say that they are different, and they are able to think slightly differently. But they belong together.

Here we see that marriage is the basis for the whole of human society. And now, we come to another reason why God created marriage. It says in Genesis 1: And God blessed them and said: Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it. Not only is there a wonderful design for a man and a woman to live together in love, but also when God gives them children for them to raise them together.

It’s interesting that God says: Be fruitful and multiply. This is something that human beings are actually incapable of doing. Only God can make us fruitful and can multiply us. Only God can create babies. And only God can create each child so uniquely that no personality on earth has ever been quite like them, and nobody will be quite like them again. Even identical twins are not the same person, and do not have the same personality.

So a man and a woman do not make the babies. All they do is go to bed, etc. This teaching is made very clear in 1 Samuel, where Hannah, Samuel’s mother, prays to God to have a baby because she can’t have one. Elkanah, her husband, had actually married a second wife, because Hannah was barren, and this was something that caused Hannah great sadness. When Hannah does conceive, it says: Elkanah knew his wife, and the Lord remembered her. Not that he had forgotten her, but that now it was the time for God to act and give her a child. Also, I say to couples who can’t have children – God has not forgotten you, but he knows your sadness and he still has wonderful things in store for you. So in marriage, the only thing a couple can do in order to be fruitful and multiply is to be open to receiving children. And even though having and raising children comes with its crosses, the bible constantly calls children a blessing.

When a couple shares the news of their pregnancy, the thing to do is to congratulate them. Sometimes we get things so muddled up—when a person dies, we don’t want anyone to mourn, so we say that we’re celebrating the person’s life. But then when a couple is expecting a child, people sometimes pay their condolences and their sympathies. No—it’s the other way round—when people die, mourn for them and grieve. And when someone is expecting a baby, congratulate them and celebrate.

Psalm 127 says: Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! Or Psalm 128: Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table.

We live in a society that hates children. If you don’t believe me, I’ll read you the abortion figures. If you’re looking for some cause to support, defend the rights of children—defend their right to live, their right to have a mother and a father, look out for children who are unloved and need a friend. There’s so much good work to be done there—thankless work, but good work. God will thank you for it.

If only we would allow God to open our minds to just how beautiful the human race is. There’s a wonderful poem from a 4th century writer, Ephraim the Syrian, who speaks of the human race flowing like a wonderful river from the garden of Eden watering all the orchards and forests and fields that it passes through. Mother Teresa once said: How can you say there are too many children in the world? That’s like saying there’s too many flowers.

If only we saw the world like God sees it – if only we could take every unloved lonely little child into our arms and love them with all our might. If our idea of Christian love started there, wow, what a powerful force the Christian church would be in the world! In the Anglican Church in Walkerville, there is a beautiful stained glass window which depicts Jesus giving the blessing with his hand, and all the while he is covered with little children climbing all over him. In our Gospel reading today we see Jesus’ love for children come forth, where he says: Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it. And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them. What children do you know, upon which you can lay your hands and bless them like Jesus?

Our attitude in our country surrounding children being a burden and a pain and a problem are so strange – and they are out of harmony with the attitudes of most Christians who are alive today throughout the world and most Christians who have ever lived.

But before we finish, there’s a third reason why God establishes marriage, and this is a consequence of sin. St Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7: Because of the temptation to sexual immortality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. There is such a thing as temptation, and in order to protect people from falling into all kinds of sexual temptations, God has given marriage as the solution. This is one of the reasons why the Lutheran Church makes sure that pastors can marry, unlike the Catholic Church where priests have been forced to be single. If only the Catholic Church had allowed its priest to get married, there might not have been so many scandals surrounding sexual abuse.

Now there’s all kinds of other things that I could talk about—we could talk about how Christian husbands and wives relate to each other, we could talk about the divorce, and we could talk about the single life. We have many wonderful people in our congregation who are single, and are of such incredible blessing to God’s kingdom in that state. But all that we will have to leave for another time.

Before we close, I would like to say this: when we talk about marriage, we’re not trying to put together a check list about all kinds of rules that you can tick off to make yourself feel good about yourself and then go home feeling smug and satisfied that you’re not like that “tax collector over there”. God wants you not simply to be pure in your actions, but also in your heart. Sexual purity, chastity and modesty, are things which are so desperately needed in a world that is becoming increasingly self-obsessed and saturated with smut. You know that, I don’t need to tell you that. If you don’t realise that you’re living in Sodom, you’re living in a fantasy world, and you must wake up and save yourself from this crooked generation as St Peter told his hearers on the day of Pentecost. Ancient Rome and Ancient Greece were full of their orgies, and now there’s nothing to show of those civilisations but a few ruined old buildings. And Australia, America, Europe are all going the same way—straight to hell in a handbasket. Are you going to go with them, or will you say with Joshua: As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

Think about Christ on the cross. We read how in the Gospel of John, how after he died, a soldier went up to him and put a spear in his side, and blood and water flowed out. Just as Eve was created out of Adam’s side, so also God puts Christ into a deep sleep, the sleep of death, and makes out of his side a wonderful woman, a wonderful bride, the church. And you became part of that church through Christ’s blood and through water, the water of holy baptism. Christ makes his church to be fruitful and multiply, and bring forth many sons and daughters, he creates new sons and daughters to be part of his family through Holy Baptism and through the hearing of the word of God. But we sin and fall in so many ways. We are adulterous and we seek after many gods and all kinds of things that will keep us entertained rather than faithful. But Jesus is a faithful husband like no other. No matter how many times we lust and sniff after other gods, Jesus is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all our sin, even of adultery.

It’s hard to believe, but Jesus’ love and its heights and depths is so incredible that no human heart can even begin to comprehend it. We must trust that the precious words of Jesus never lie, and that he is a faithful Saviour, and faithful forgiver, and a faithful husband of us, his wayward bride. God’s richest blessings to you, and may he send you his Holy Spirit to empower you and strengthen you in his word and in truth and in love. Amen.


Dear Jesus, we confess to you our sins of adultery. We have not loved you with our whole heart or our neighbour as ourselves. Cleanse us in your blood, and enable us to be pure of heart. Bless all of us in our congregation who are married and all of us who are single, and pour out your Holy Spirit upon us. Amen.


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